 |
|
|
Post By Manga Shoggoth Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 06:54:23 am EDT |
Subject
The Lair Legion Barbecue Round Robin, Part the Third: Fallout | |
|
|
Next In Thread >> | |
Hatman surveyed the barbecue with increasing apprehension and a sense of impending doom. For a moment he wondered if previous leaders of the Legion had felt like this, and then realised that he was being paranoid. Of course Visionary had.
One line of trestles was serving Greek food, courtesy of Mr. Papadopapolis. Further round, several other local shops had set up stalls (including a rather pink sushi bar which appeared to have a karaoke stage next to it). Beyond them, a number of people had brought portable barbecue sets and were applying the "burn it to charcoal" method to anything remotely edible (presumably on the grounds that charcoal was good for indigestion).
The party had clearly gone beyond even the excessive guest list that CSFB had started with.
Still, he reasoned, everything seemed to be going quite smoothly. "Dunkirk Spirit", Sir Mumphery had called it.
Then he saw who was manning the end barbecue. Figuratively speaking.
"Please..." he muttered to any deities that happened to be listening, "Please tell me that the Manga Shoggoth isn't running a barbecue!"
"Naah." responded CSFB! who, whilst not a deity, was actually listening. "Shoggy's doing drinks."
The Manga Shoggoth was indeed serving drinks. Various cans of fizzy drinks were stacked on the barbecue, and the flames licked round them hungrily. A close observer (not that there were many) would have noticed the frost forming around the cans.
In lieu of any customers, the Shoggoth was having a chat with what appeared to be an aged female Hell's Angel on a Harley.
So, business is down, then? asked the Shoggoth, stacking more cans on the barbecue. Oddly enough, no matter how many cans were stacked, the limited space on the barbecue didn't seem to be getting any fuller.
"Yes." sniffed Mrs Kvetch, the Old Bat out of Hell. "With all this impending doom all my potential victims are ringing up their parents and grandparents like there's no tomorrow. Oh well, I guess I should take a break while I can."
Drink? Offered the Shoggoth, passing a can from the stack. The stack seemed no less afterwards.
"Thanks. I wonder if that Parody Master person still has parents." mused the Mrs Kvetch, accepting a can of Coke. "That would be a challenge."
She pulled the tab on the can.
At this point, a few little details should be noted.
First of all, Coke is one of the most heavily charged drinks on the market. "Very Gassy" does not cover it.
Secondly, solubility tends to decrease with temperature. This is why you should never keep cans of fizzy drink in a freezer.
Thirdly, the Shoggoth only has a very limited understanding of the laws of physics that we have come to know and love. CSFB had told it to keep the drinks cold, and so it was keeping them as cold as possible. In addition, it had taken to stacking the cans inside each other to save space.
Mrs Kvetch pulled the tab on the equivalent of twenty cans of incredibly supercooled Coke.
There was a thundering roar. There was a sudden silence. Then fell a soft rain.
Well, a soft drink rain, at any rate.
The Shoggoth's drink stand was immediately besieged by a horde of children who knew a good thing when they saw it.
Footnotes:
Mrs Kvetch, the Old Bat out of Hell, was last seen in the Parodyverse Hundred Words Round Robin.
Coke cans explode in a freezer, as one of my friends found out. Similar effects can be produced by shaking the can vigorously before opening. You can do other things with the universal tooth solvent as well...
And there is an extra reference for those who know their Bradbury or Teasdale.
| Echo™ v3.0 beta © 2003-2006 Powermad Software |
|
|